Silent Hill: Harry Mason's Revenge
by N35BR0
Summary: Harry Mason came to kick ass and find his daughter. And he decided not to find his daughter...


Silent Hill: Harry Mason's Revenge

By Nesbro

Driving down the desolate, snowy road, Harry Mason glanced at his daughter Cheryl in the back seat. He knew her childhood innocence wouldn't last forever, so he had decided to take her on a winter trip to a resort in Silent Hill. Letting loose a sigh, he turned the car slightly. He was getting bored, so he turned on the radio to a heavy metal station. Suddenly, as the thrashing guitar chords pumped through the speakers of his car, a giant, gory, muscle-bound demon flew past his windshield preparing for its strike. However, before this dangerous hell spawn could perform his evil deeds, Harry smashed a large red button on his dashboard, raising a large Gatling gun from his hood as a chorus of angels sang of the ass-kicking promptly to follow this deployment. The demon only had time to look concerned before the gun shot out a storm of flaming, veiny rabbits onto its adversary, sending a huge wave of pain and ejaculation through his ribcage as it blew all of his internal organs outside of his chest like gelatin being smashed by a large boot and spreading its stickiness and goop everywhere. It was fucking great, you should've been there. The demon's body split into a million little gritty pieces as its bones was all arranged into a life size statue of a naked woman. Harry, taking a moment to admire his work while driving, slipped off the road and wrecked his car, sending fire and metal debris everywhere as it erupted into an explosion that killed all living things on Earth then promptly brought them back to life and killed them again, leaving all bodies of water tainted red with blood as if it were a delicious cherry Kool Aid mixed into the seas for all marine life, complete with frozen organs of Eskimos acting as ice cubes in this drink fit for a vampire. Luckily, Harry's incredible fucking trench coat saved him and Cheryl, but then Cheryl decided to fucking wander the fucking shit off, that bitch. As soon as Harry came to, he noticed that bitch Sharon Cheryl was gone. "AWW, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS TAT!" Harry yelled, suddenly breaking out into a British accent that made all female beings in the area orgasm at once and then explode into clouds of skin and blood. After putting his glasses on, because you know, he has to have something to shield the blood from his eyes, he stepped out of the car with a look of badassery on his face. He almost left his flashlight in the car, and then remembered that if you're gonna beat the shit outta some weird-ass monsters, you need something to fucking see the gore and all that good shit. Now continuing upon his voyage, he boldly climbed over a fence that said "No climbing.", but not before beating the shit out of whoever put that sign there and all his family, because he had to make a fucking point. After getting over that bullshit fence, he wandered around an abandoned wrecking yard, looking at all the abandoned cars lying around. "What a stupid bitch," he thought. "Next time I want some ass, I'm gonna have to have it protected." He meandered around the yard, thinking something was a bit odd about it, when suddenly, all the cars assembled into a massive, throbbing, metal phallus, letting out a roar of "FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, BITCHES". Harry focused all of his rage into pure rawkergy, forming his flashlight into a really badass guitar that would have made David Bowie get scared and run away. He used this amazing device to make the giant metallic cock climax, releasing a gratuitous amount of oil everywhere. Harry got a really cool smirk on his face, and then made a spark that lit all of the giant dick's oil/jizz into a huge ass purple flame that could probably own you at Soul Calibur 2, lighting the huge male emblem on fire, causing it to release a cry of pain and melt into a pile of burning flesh and gore. Look, I don't fucking care if it was a goddamn metal dick, it melted into a FUCKING PILE OF SKIN AND GORE. Got that? You better have, bitch. Anyways, this pile morphed into a large amount of zombie thingies that were all like "YEAAAAAAAH WE GONNA KILL YOU CRACKHEAD". Harry then yelled "STOP TRYING TO BE BLACK!" to all of these feeble little assholes, causing them to simultaneously orgasm into a huge-ass nuclear explosion with guitar chords pulsing and a chorus of angels proclaiming "FUCKING SICK" in the background. This explosion was so great, that the cast of Jersey Shore saw it and was all like "FUCKIN GUIDOOOOOOOO", and then they spontaneously combusted into a cloud of spaghetti, because they're like, Italian you know. After the lengthy description of this explosion, Harry was all like "You bet I'm hardcore, BITCH.", then he went on to this one diner, where there was this bithc named Cybil who was all like "YO IMMA COP ASSHOLE." then harry was like, "STFU BITCH." and shoved her skull down on the table, causing her brain to squish between his fingers like Silly Putty, but more satisfying. It was a good day, and you fucking know it, so shut the fuck up bitch.


End file.
